Being a working mom with tons of home side projects, a husband who works an opposite shift, trying to keep up friendships and trying to be professional at work to lead your team with a positive attitude all while STILL trying not to lose yourself in the process. It can be hard. Everyone nowadays seem to be spread so thin that they are stressed out to the max and are not the best version of themselves. We all know we need to get our shit together, but the same lingering question seems to appear amongst all of us, “When will I ever find the time?” Even if you can find this answer, it may be temporary or may be followed with, “I don’t have the money for that.” Once someone thinks this last statement, it’s pretty much game over in the mind. Ever think about the people who are living paycheck to paycheck because they spend their money on things like snacks at the gas station, concert tickets, going out to bars/events, purchasing something large like a motorcycle, new car or a trailer? If you ask them overseas on an elaborate trip, the most common answer would be, “I can’t” and you ask why. Most of the time would be because of money/job issues. Now look at someone who is in a higher class, not living paycheck to paycheck, having a huge savings account/investments, expensive car or house and be able to actually afford the trip. Still, they may say no to the trip, and you ask why. The answer may be, “I don’t have the time for that”.
See how different the answer is?
My point is no matter how much money you make, or how much time you may not have, you always have a choice. You have the choice to say no, to make time for yourself, to make plans other than the obligations of life. You can live it. You just have to figure out the way of life you want to live. If it seems out of reach, you may have to make MAJOR sacrifices to achieve it. Maybe you want to travel and explore the world, but you have a 40hr week job and an apartment/house to maintain. You may have to sell your house, buy a cheap travel van and maybe even start an online business so you can live minimally while travelling. That is a HUGE risk, but if it’s a true desire that you have, it’s definitely possible!
But do you ever feel guilty for wanting something for yourself?
Well, I do. Every time I think or do something for myself, I end up feeling guilty because I think that I should be spending that time with my family. (we’re already limited on time together) Spending time with my kids, some quality time with my husband, visiting the grandparents or maintaining the household (because we all know that the housework just keeps piling!) I am here to tell you to not feel guilty about it! Consistently feeling guilty about taking time for yourself, so you just don’t do anything- and you feel a little better in the moment. After time though, that is going to pile up and build. Eventually, you are going to lose yourself and all the boundaries you had set are thrown out the window. We have to sit ourselves down, reconnect with our soul and reset our boundaries. There is absolutely no problem with doing that.
I’ve come to realize, personally, that if I take care of myself first, I am a much better version of myself. I am able to tune in with others around me, I have much more patience for things that happen around me that would usually get me upset and I seem to be calmer or more relaxed in certain situations. I am here to tell you to never feel guilty for taking time for yourself, getting a massage, your hair cut, your nails done, cooking a meal with no distractions, paint, draw, go for a drive, some quiet time to read a book, journal or even meditate! The list goes on and on with whatever your interests are and how you relax.
Find what makes you the best version of yourself and take care of you FIRST guilt-free!
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